40 days

We have been home as a family for 40 days!!!! Sometimes it feels like we've been a family of four forever and sometimes it feels brand new.

Our 'gotcha day' with Toufiq was a bit different than many Gladney families, the in country staff had people coming in that morning so Toufiq was hand delivered to us in our hotel room. He was soooo scared the first day. He didnt make a sound, sat ONLY on my lap, wouldnt look at Jason or my parents. He was so tired from the shock of leaving his caregivers, meeting us, being in a new environment that he fell asleep on our bed after about thirty minutes of meeting him. When we changed his diaper, clothes, etc he screamed. He was REALLY attached to his shoes that he got from the orphanage and freaked out when we took them off, all we can think is that sense they do not have much (toys, clothing) they are super attached to the items they have. I know I sound really mean taking his shoes and all but...we replaced them with really cool alligator crocs that he LOVED. After day one he remained extremely quite, he would wake me up in the morning just staring at me. He didnt cry, didnt talk, laugh, play, nothing. He just sat, and watched, taking everything in. Towards the middle of our trip he began to throw fits, hit, gave the dirtiest looks you've ever seen (seriously, if looks could kill), he seemed very angry. His physical development was behind as well. He was very uncoordinated, couldnt run, fell every few steps while walking, couldnt climb stairs. Then there was the issue with him and his daddy. Toufiq had NO time for Jason until about day 8 when he finally decided that he would at least look at him. Since we knew that I was going to have to leave Jason there with him due to our paperwork issues we were forced to try and bond them quicker than I would suggest. We tried leaving Jason alone with him in the room, he screamed the whole time! We tried having Jason do everything for him, feed him, change him, bath him. By about the tenth day the walls began to fall. He was starting to play, laugh, and smile. He was liking, not loving but at least tolerating his dad. The day I left them I was so concerned that it would take him back a few steps, I was worried he would feel like someone else was leaving him, it was hard. When Toufiq got home he went back into his shell for the first few days. He was tired, scared, sick of change, not sure about our animals, about his sister, the Potts, life in general was just really tuff for him. The first week I slept in Ella's bed next to his crib, he woke up waaaaayyyy too early and many times through out the night.
Now, 40 days home and Toufiq is doing so good. He is a completely different child. He and his sister are great buddies! He has grown an inch and a half and gained 3lbs. His coordination is so much better, he climbs like a billy goat. He runs and even jumps on the trampoline. He is starting to say tons of words, such as bird, Ella, Daddy, Mommy (he's had that one down!), and of course NO (love this one). He is trying to figure out what noises all the animals make but thinks they all say ROOOOAAAAR like a lion - even the horses! He is trying to parrot everything, a little sponge just soaking it all up. He is sleeping in his and Ella's room. He wakes up sometimes during the night but goes back to sleep in a few minutes. He does still cry at night when going to sleep, its been our biggest battle. He really hates going to bed at night. He is napping once a day and is doing that well. It is so nice to have him home and on a schedule. That was so difficult in Ethiopia, not having a plan or a schedule, kids really need that. He doesnt give the dirty looks near as often, only when really tired. He will offer up kisses and hugs anytime you ask, sometimes when you dont! He is really so so sweet. He is always concerned if Ella cries and is so gentle with her and our animals. I just cant say enough of what a difference a few weeks can make with love, routine, good food and tons of kisses and attention! WOW! He does need a lot of affirmation that he is a good boy. When he gets disciplined he really needs a lot of love afterwards to know that you still love and approve of him. He is also really obsessed with food and freaks out when you take it away or when its gone. I guess he doesnt think he will get it again, or maybe the boys just really loves to eat. I feel him!

On a different note, my sis and bro-in law are leaving tomorrow to get there girls from the Ukraine, it will be a long 5 weeks but so exciting! Also my dad is doing great, he is home and back to his old self again!!!